Fruit flies have been ruining my life
New apartment is great. Taipei weather sucks as usual. And - oh yeah - FUCK FRUIT FLIES. Jesus Christ. How's your day going, btw? Nvm, cuz I DON'T GIVE A FUKKK!
These mofos have been procreating somewhere in my apt. Which is dumb, cuz I don't have any food sitting around. There aren't throngs of them - I can only see one at a time. But right when I am finally able to put one of their tiny miserable lives out of existence, another guy just comes out of the woodworks right on cue and continues to torment me. I must have been the mastermind behind a massive and successful fruit fly genocide in my past life, because I can't think of anything else that would cause me to deserve this kind of suffering.
I'ma buy a frog
So apparently natural predators of fruit flies are spiders, frogs, and chickens. Since spiders are gross, and nobody wants to deal with a pet chicken, it appears that the only logical solution to my problem is to buy a frog. Look at this beautiful creation of nature!
"Sup Bitch?! I'ma EAT YO ASS LIKE RIGHT NOW SON"
That's exactly what I would train my pet frog to say every time he gobbles down a fly. Hell, I'd even bring him to a fruit fly farm and let him go to town to exact vengeance on behalf of his proud owner - AKA ME.
I'm so ticked off.
And YES - I know that the photo of this post is a FLY not a FRUIT FLY. But, that episode of Breaking Bad represents my irrational frustration over the situation. Go F yourself.